Having a baby and buying a new vehicle are both decisions with B I G financial impact on your life, not to mention an effect on your personal and family health + wellness. Plus, expanding your family often means expanding your seating capacity; it’s pretty common to change out your ride within a year of becoming pregnant, so you may actually be tackling BOTH of these scenarios simultaneously. Read on for four lessons that apply to pregnancy AND car shopping, and be sure to share with your friends who are going through either situation!

1. Make sure you have all the REAL information

   Knowledge is power. The more information you’re able to compile during either your maternity decision making or car purchase negotiating process, the better. This information should come from high quality sources: for birth, that means discussing with your primary care provider, researching medical journals and published studies [ or ask your doula to do this for you! ], and even getting a second opinion. For car shopping, you should do research on the manufacturer’s website, look at credible resources such as Car Cost Canada or Consumer Reports, and also “get a second opinion” by checking in with more than one dealership.
   
   Using all this information, go back to your team and evaluate whether they had glossed over details or given you a biased answer. Where you see key differences, challenge them to explain why they made the recommendation they did. Know that no matter their suggested process or outcome, the situation has to work for you and your family. You may use your information and experience to come to the exact same conclusion that they did with respect to “Should I be induced?” or “Do I really need a block heater?”…but you also might not. And you’re the boss; you’re the one taking this baby [ skin-covered or metal-covered! ] home at the end of this.
   

2. State your need for time and space

   Making decisions under duress, while feeling directly judged or coerced by a person in power leads to poor outcomes: at best, a feeling of loss of control; at worst, a decision that was totally wrong for you personally. The decisions we most often face during pregnancy and car shopping are not life threatening or emergent, but the results of making a hasty decision certainly could be.
   
   Taking the afternoon to decide whether or not to accept a recommendation for induction will have little to no effect on the current health of your baby; if your baby’s vital conditions were seriously compromised, your team would be recommending a Caesarean section within hours, not induction within days. Taking the afternoon to discuss payment terms on a vehicle will have little to no effect on the status of your sale; it’s very unlikely it will be “sold out from under you,” especially if the sales team knows you’re a serious buyer. Any pressure you’re experiencing to make a decision on-the-spot is probably contrived to encourage you to just willingly - and even gratefully - accept whatever is being thrown your way.
   
   When making decisions that impact the long-term health of your own body, your baby, or your bank account, time and space are not luxuries you need to ask permission for. Thank your care provider or your sales team for the information they have given you, tell them you need some time to think about this, and give them a firm date when you will return with an answer. Then walk away, breathe, and find a spouse or friend to debrief with.
   

3. Get a team you can trust

   The medical care you and your baby receive will have a lifelong impact on your mental and physical wellness. The car purchase you agree to will have a multi-year impact on your family finances, which can also impact your mental health. When considering decisions with long-term ramifications, you should make sure the team involved is trustworthy and a good fit for you. You should have a common goal that you’re working toward, which removes any adversarial feelings. For birth, this goal would be not only “healthy mom, healthy baby,” but also a “healthy experience” where your mental wellness was valued and supported too. When buying a car, the goal might be “right car, right price” as in, a deal where the buyer feels they paid a fair price and the seller also received a fair payment for their product, and the vehicle sold makes sense for the buyer’s family, lifestyle, and budget needs.
   
   In both birth and car shopping, you do NOT need to continue working with a team member who you cannot build trust with, or who does not share those common goals. If you feel your care provider or sales person is not a good fit for you, work with their management team [ administrative office or sales office ] to find a different resource within the same group, or take your file to a completely different provider.
   

4. You’re allowed to change your mind

   Both as a consumer and as an autonomous individual, you should know your rights to consent and withdraw consent. In your maternity care, you should be experiencing a conversation of informed consent for every procedure, no matter how big or how small - from administration of anti-nausea medication during labor to cutting an episiotomy. And further, even if you consented to, for example, a vaginal exam and cervical membrane sweep, if you experience pain or change your mind about the procedure, even if a provider’s hand is inside you, you can withdraw your consent and this wish must be respected. Similarly, for vehicle sales, until you have signed a purchase agreement, you may continue to shop around, request pricing and package changes, and take the time you need to complete a deal fairly and with confidence. And, if the terms of the deal change after an agreement has been signed - for example, the dealer cannot deliver the agreed upon vehicle, the car has undisclosed damage, or the terms of financing do not reflect what was discussed - you have the right to renegotiate or terminate the deal if it no longer works for you.

Now that you know HOW to protect #yourbestbirth, are you ready to bring a stellar support person to your team? adora is accepting Calgary birth doula + photography clients for births at South Health Campus, Rockyview General Hospital, Foothills Medical Centre, Peter Lougheed Centre, High River Hospital, Arbor Birth Centre, Canmore Hospital, and supervised home birth environments! Book a meet + greet today to learn more!